Actor from the *Twilight* blockbuster passes away suddenly at 34 hue01

Kellan Lutz has a firm sense of self these days— but it took time for him to get to that place, following the immense success of the Twilight Saga.

“I’m so grateful that I got a taste of the dragon,” Lutz told Michael Rosenbaum on the Aug. 11 episode of his Inside of You podcast. “A lot of actors are like, ‘Oh, I want to win an Oscar. I want to win an Emmy.’ I don’t care about awards. I like what I get to do. I like playing characters. It’s adult make-believe and I really do love it.”

But Lutz admitted that there was a period where that mattered to him more than he expected, on the heels of success that followed his role as Emmett Cullen in Twilight.

“As far as the fame, I didn’t realize what Twilight would be,” he shared. “I’m so grateful that I got a taste of the dragon because a lot of people strive for that. I still have friends who unfortunately… They gave up their families. They’re still staying there. They’ve sacrificed a lot — in unhealthy ways — to still chase this dragon of fame.”

Going back further in his career, Lutz said that his perspective on the matter was partially shaped by something he was told on the set of his first-ever film, 2006’s Stick It. 

“I remember Jeff Bridges, when I was on a Stick It, his advice to me,” Lutz began. “He’s like, ‘Kellan, make your life outside of the industry because if you make your life the industry, it is made to chew you up and spit you out.”

Lutz shared that he has always kept that advice in mind, even though there were a few moments when he let the pursuit of success get the better of him,

“There were times even post Twilight when I was, you know, going out for Captain America and Thor and the pressure was really, really on,” Lutz recalled. “I was like, I need to be so regulant and strict and do this and do that. And then I’d get so bummed on myself.”

He continued, “I’m like, man, I lost me. I lost Kellen. I lost that light.”

Lutz confessed that he became so “stressed and desperate” in those moments that he lost sight of what was important and, at times, stopped being himself. In one instance, Lutz shared that his idolization of Jason Statham led him to adopt a deeper speaking voice when going into auditions, until he was confronted about the change by someone on his team.

“I would go into auditions thinking my voice was deep like that and sexy like that,” Lutz shared. “I think it was my manager who was like, ‘Hey, you know I love you, right?’ And I’m like, ‘Yeah, what do you mean?’”

Lutz recalled his manager asking, “‘Can I ask you why you’re doing that with your voice?’” and telling him, “‘You’re just not you anymore.’”

As for the experience of fame that came with his time on Twilight, Lutz admitted that it wasn’t all that glamorous, recalling the irritation of having paparazzi outside his home “all the time.”

He explained, “I wasn’t able to leave. And then I lived at the beach and you know I’d be in magazines topless like, ‘Oh look at this guy. He just cares about his physique.’ I’m like, I love the beach! I live by the beach!”

He added that the “pressure” of the attention is what made him try things, like the Statham voice, “that just wasn’t working.”

That said, the actor made it clear that he remains extremely grateful to the Twilight franchise and the attention that came with it, sharing that to this day, he still attends conventions and fan events to help supplement the income from his acting career.

You can watch Lutz reflect on his Twilight success and broader career in the video above.