Over the past 21 years, Shondaland has put countless LGBTQ+ characters and storylines front and center on TV — from Callie’s coming-out journey on Grey’s Anatomy to Benedict’s bisexual romances on Bridgerton. For queer viewers around the world, these stories have helped them figure out their identities, celebrate their community, and feel seen for who they really are. This Pride Month, we’re exploring the impact that these stories have had on queer fans.
There are a lot of reasons why Amelia Shepherd (Caterina Scorsone) is one of Grey’s Anatomy’s most beloved characters, from her outspoken personality to her fearlessness in the OR. And then, there’s the fact that, thanks to her time on both Grey’s and Private Practice, she’s become the longest-running LGBTQ+ character on U.S. television. And while there have been hints of Amelia’s fluid sexuality at various times over the years, she’s only started fully identifying with and embracing her queerness in the last few years — and most recently has engaged in a steamy romance with newcomer Dr. Toni Wright (Jennifer Landon).
Unfortunately, the women’s relationship has already hit some big roadblocks (namely, Amelia sleeping with Dr. Cass Beckman in Grey’s Anatomy’s season 22 finale). Still, their sweet journey from crushing on each other during med school to becoming surgeons in (complicated) love has won the hearts of many queer fans, including 41-year-old Pennsylvania resident Mar. Below, she tells Shondaland how Amelia and Toni’s love story has helped her realize she wants one of her own.
I’m 41, but I only recently realized I like girls. When I was growing up, I’d go through phases when I wanted to be Chilli from TLC, or Emma from the Spice Girls, or the girls from Charmed, but I didn’t really think about my sexuality. I’m neurodivergent, and school was very tough for me due to bullying. Because of that, I wasn’t spending much time questioning anything about myself.
For most of my adult life, I’ve been in a caregiver role. My dad passed away 14 years ago when my sister was pregnant; now, she has three kids, all of whom I help take care of while she’s at work. My mom was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s very young, and I cared for her at home until she passed away last year. She was a medical technologist for 30-plus years, and she loved Grey’s Anatomy. We’d watch it together. The show was actually a huge part of my caregiving process because it calmed her anxiety.
Only recently, now that my mom has passed and I no longer have all my caregiving duties, have I been able to sit down and focus on myself. Still, it’s taken a while for me to understand that I like girls, and it’s Grey’s that has helped me figure it out. Every Thursday, I’d go over to my cousin’s house, and we’d watch the show together. Last year, I started feeling like I was attracted to Amelia, and when I talked to my cousin about it, he said, “Mar, everybody has a gay awakening.” I found myself coming to terms with being queer, learning to accept myself for who I am. When I realized that about myself, it made me a happier person, just like when Amelia told Teddy in that big scene. I felt more like me.
This past season, Toni and Amelia’s storyline has been especially impactful for me. When they admitted they both had crushes on each other in med school — and they weren’t afraid to go after each other, and then it worked out even after so many years — it made me realize, for the first time, that I actually might want to have a girlfriend myself. I felt so excited by the idea of having something like what they have, a person who doesn’t make you feel like you’re less than anything. I wanted to feel that way too.
I’ve always found Amelia’s insecurities and fear of failure very relatable, which has been comforting. She makes me feel seen and accepted. Seeing her with Toni, though, has helped put me in a mindset to not care as much, to not be as anxious or scared, and to be more comfortable in my own skin. Their story has given me so much confidence, which has been so exciting and freeing. Recently, I told my best friend that I feel so much happier since realizing I am queer. I feel like I’ve figured out who I am and who I want to be.
Where I live, it’s really hard to meet people; you have to drive 45 minutes just to get to Walmart. But I put myself on a dating site and changed what I was looking for to women. I hope to find somebody someday.
It’s not just about dating, though. It means a lot to me that Caterina Scorsone is part of telling Amelia’s story on Grey’s because of the advocacy work she does in real life for people with disabilities and the LGBTQ+ community. Having someone like her in the role makes it feel especially authentic and meaningful, and it’s inspired me to be an advocate too. I stream games online, and this Pride Month, I’ve been streaming games centered on LGBTQ+ characters. I hope to create a communal feeling of acceptance for those who are queer, for those with disabilities, for anybody.